“Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit” – yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appear for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.”’
Our house is filled with “if, then” scenarios these days. There are more questions than answers and we have been busy trying to answer all of the questions with possibilities. But possibilities are just possibilities. They are not realities. When I try to live in them I get discouraged and disillusioned.
Here is what I know:
We are moving.
We fly out of Mexico on June 29.
We will live in Reno, NV.
We own a home there that we can comfortably live in.
My husband will have a job.
These are the things I know for sure. These are all wonderful, secure things. But (and I wish I did not always add the “but”) there are so many things I do not yet know.
I do not know exactly what job he will have, when it will start, if I will work, stay home or go to school part time, which house we will live in, whether there will be multiple moving transitions because of timing, where the kids will go to school…
These are the things I get lost in – allowing my mind to wander off as I think about all of the possibilities.
I am a planner. I want a plan. I find security in having a plan. I should find security in knowing God has a plan.
The truth is no matter which scenario takes place we can be secure, stable and happy. Even as I type that my mind screams “BUT I WANT TO KNOW.” I am working on turning down the volume of the scream. I am trying to stop the scrambling to come up with a contingency plan for every possible scenario. I am trying to be secure in knowing that it will all work out. But waiting is hard. And it will be at least two months before I can begin to have answers to all of these questions.
I posted a note over my desk with the beginning words of Psalm 46:10, “Be still and know.” I want that. I want to stop the scrambling and truly feel confident in all of the things that are already secure.
It is a work in progress.