Sometimes I need to let myself be held.
My 3 year old son is constantly moving; constantly running, and yelling, and playing, and seeking people to interact with, love on, and be loved by. He is small but strong and determined, and he lives life without abandon. And yet in spite of his overwhelming independent nature he often just wants to be held.
I am a quieter person, a calmer person, a more introverted person, a more adult person, but I am the one who forgets that sometimes I need to be held – to lay all of the stress and burden down.
These last few months have been a busy and stressful season and I can feel my body desperately longing for rest. May is a month of turmoil for many of us who work in the world of education. All of the stressors of a year of working with, teaching, fighting for, and loving on our students begin to pile up. The students are counting down the days until summer and so are the teachers, counselors, and administrators. We all need some open air; some time away from the confines of a school building.
I know that for myself I cannot just wait until summer. I need to allow myself to find times of rest now or it is going to begin to take a toll on my health, my work, and my family.
I am not good at resting. I am good at creating constantly running to-do lists in my head. I am good at pushing myself to be a good mom, and wife, and counselor. But I am learning that sometimes the best way to do this is to stop and rest for a little while. I need to stop trying to be perfect and start trying to make sure that the best of myself is available – a part that can only be available if I take good care of it.
Unlike my 3 year old I cannot just physically crawl into the arms of my mom and drop all my weight. For one she lives in another country a couple thousand miles away, and two I do not think she would appreciate that from her 30-something daughter. (Love you mom!).
I am learning to be more like my 3 year old. I am learning to practice the art of rest, not just when it is convenient, but because it is life giving.
And then I can continue to work on being like my 3 year old who gives love freely, feels joy deeply, and lives life passionately. I am pretty sure I am supposed to be the one giving him the example to look up to, but that crazy little guy teaches me so much!
“Come to me all you who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28