It has started out as one of those weeks. The kind where hubby is at work until after the boys are in bed two nights in a row. The kind where no one slept well last night and both boys woke up with colds. One of them just managed to sneeze in my mouth. Do you think there is any chance I’m not going to catch this thing?
These are the parts of parenthood that really just make you go “awww”, ladies and gentlemen.
I’m tired to put it mildly.
These are the times I most often go back to wanting to live in the states – back where family is close and our loving, supportive community is broader, back where so many comforts are more easily accessible.
These are the days I start trying to plan the future. Because, somehow, if I plan the future instead of living the moment it will all be easier, right?
But then I would miss the moment when Eli came running out of preschool yesterday shouting “I love you, Mommy!”. I would miss those precious moments squished with both boys and way too many stuffed animals in Eli’s bed this morning.
So, in an effort to live out my New Year’s goal to stop trying to predict the future I’m working hard to live in the moment today – the exhausted, snot-filled, tissue-laden moment. You never know what precious surprises even that moment may bring. I’m in this place, this time for a reason.
I’m reminded of something I wrote almost 2 year ago:
“I’m simply called to trust. I’m called to live by faith. Despite my questions of my purpose in this current location, despite my doubts, and despite my whining nature I’m called to live in complete faith that this is His plan. My race is in his hands. I don’t have to see the finish line in order to run, I simply have to run and keep trusting.”
I guess I am still learning to run my race, every moment of it, without abandon